


I'm Sorry

by IppyEpiphany



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Female Player Character (Hogwarts Mystery), Hogwarts Fourth Year, Video Game: Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-28
Updated: 2018-07-28
Packaged: 2019-06-17 19:11:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15468102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IppyEpiphany/pseuds/IppyEpiphany
Summary: Your fourth year at Hogwarts has proven your most challenging year yet. Although your primary focus during your time at the most prestigious wizarding school has been mainly focused on tracking down your missing brother, Jacob Rosier, you have found yourself distracted by falling for your fellow Slytherin, Barnaby Lee. Try as you may to stay away from this distraction, you and Barnaby accidentally stumble across the main ingredient for the wizarding world's most cursed potion... the love potion Amortentia, and old passions are reignited.





	I'm Sorry

**Author's Note:**

> I'm still playing through the fourth year of Hogwarts Mystery, so I apologize for any inaccuracies. I plan on updating/changing as I progress in the story line. :'D

~*~  
  
" _Shit!_ "  
  
You dart across the field in a panic. You have only a few fleeting moments before the Herbology Greenhouse closes for the night to grab the last ingredient to complete the Beautification Potion with Penny. You've already spent all day gathering all the other additives to battle the Forbidden Forest's awful Red Caps, but you've mistakenly overlooked the location of the dried Lady's Mantle. You failed to mention to Professor Sprout earlier this morning that you needed the dried herb, rather than the fresh herb from Hagrid's Hut, for the potion. Wasting even more time, you foolishly assumed the dried version would be stored in Potion's Class. But now, as dusk approaches, it might finally be too late.  
  
Your small body slams against the enchanted glass door.  
  
_It's... locked. I... I failed. I'm sorry, Jacob..._  
  
You turn your back against the door and slide to the ground. Ever since last year's events with the Cursed Vaults, all of the classroom entrances have had a protection enchantment put on them to fight against the basic Alohamora spell that all of the students have been taught in their first year.  
  
The setting sun's rays cut sharp into your vision and you can barely make out someone coming towards you from the direction of the castle. You fear this person to be a professor to scold you, but as the body comes into focus you sigh heavily, relieved.  
  
"Wait... _Barnaby_? Is that you?"  
  
"Heh, last time I checked."  
  
The tall, broad-shouldered boy slowly lowers himself to sit in the cool grass next to you. He's a fourth year, like you, but easily towers over your other peers and even some of the elder years. His athletically-inclined body carries his toned self rather easily. Despite the cruel teasings of the some of the other Hogwarts students, he is actually quite an enjoyable creature. A bit slow, sure, but earnest and hard-working.  
  
Running his hand nervously through his spiked dark brown hair, his brilliant emerald eyes attempt to find contact with yours, but you look away, embarrassed. It's been a long time since the both of you have been completely alone together, due to an abandonment purely of your own choosing. It's true that the two of you had spoken feelings for each other during your third year, but over the summer you have been forced to break off any pursuits of an intimate relationship.  
  
_I don't have time for silly boyfriends. There's nothing more important than finding out what happened to my brother..._  
  
Barnaby starts slowly, "Uh, hey, sorry if this is a bad time. But this has been eating at me... did I do something wrong, Rosier? I haven't really heard much from you this year... I thought you said we were supposed to work together. I've... I've been thinking about you. A lot. And when I just saw you running I was worried---"  
  
"I... I really messed up, Barnaby," you choke. "Penny and I were making a potion tonight, to help us obtain the arrowhead that'll help me find my brother. There's an ingredient in the greenhouse... I was too late. The potion has already started brewing and there isn't much time left anymore."  
  
He smiles eagerly, unable to hide a brief flash of his perfect teeth between his lips, "Hey, Ros'... it's not a big deal, honest. I can get us in... as long as you can keep a secret." He raises his finger to his lips, in a shushing gesture.  
  
You raise your eyebrow as you watch him get to his feet and extend his large hand towards you, lifting you all-too-easily as you accept it. He jogs to the back side of the greenhouse, motioning for you to come with him. Skeptical, but curious and trusting, you follow.  
  
As you turn the corner you see him pull a small, unassuming key from his pocket. After a smooth flick of his wrist the door opens.  
  
"Where in the world did you get that, B?"  
  
"Professor Kettleburn," he beams proudly. "Sometimes he needs help getting the greenhouse's vegetation as food for some of the creatures. He has one slow leg, I have two quick ones. So... he's trusted me with the storeroom key, which can enter the front of the greenhouse once inside. He's great. He's kind of taken me under his arm."  
  
"You mean, under his wing?"  
  
"You're funny, Rosier. Kettleburn doesn't have wings."  
  
You roll your eyes, amused and somewhat charmed by the simple boy. Maybe you haven't given him enough credit for his part in your journey.  
  
~*~  
  
Once inside, the two of you easily spend several minutes looking through the unmarked vegetation trying to locate the correct herb. There's standard pots and plants that are used daily in common potions, and then various high-hanging drying herbs and concentrated plants in containers for those to be moved to various classrooms. You suddenly hear some glassware clink against each other clumsily behind you.  
  
"Be careful with those jars, Barnaby," you warn. "That one over there... it's the essence of the flos amoris. It's one of the main ingredients of the Amortentia."  
  
"A more tense _what_?"  
  
"Amortentia, B. It's the most cursed potion of all time. The love potion."  
  
"Huh. That doesn't sound so bad---"  
  
"It is. It's not a real love, it's a false love. A forced infatuation, a prison. And what's worse, they say that if any child conceived by anyone under the influence of the potion... well, since the child wasn't made from a true love, then it can never experience real love during its life. They say that's why the Dark Lord is the way he is, his witch mother used the potion on his muggle father. It only produces a shell of a person, just as the bottle is empty without the potion."  
  
"Oh."  
  
There's an awkward silence as you continue searching for the dried Lady's Mantle. Although, now you take notice to Barnaby sneaking quick glances at you from the corner of his eyes when he thinks you aren’t paying attention. There's a familiar pain in your heart, a longing to tell him that you wish so badly that you could have both found each other under different circumstances, in easier times.  
  
_I wish I could tell you how I really felt about you, B._  
  
~*~  
  
Exhausted, you dejectedly lean against the giant wooden classroom table. Barnaby walks to join you for a quick break and you wonder for a moment if he even knows what exactly you're looking for. Nonetheless, you appreciate the effort and companionship. He yawns and unexpectedly stretches, bringing his large, calloused hand down on top of yours. You assume him to move to it immediately, but end up blushing when he just leaves it there. In fact, he didn’t even seem to have notice what he’d done.  
  
You clear your throat nervously.  
  
“Huh?” Barnaby looks to where you averted your gaze, towards your hands, and you observe a small tint of pink to his cheeks as he finally withdraws himself. “Oh, shit, haha. Didn’t even notice...” he trails off, chuckling nervously. “Your hand’s so small… oh, look. Behind you, hanging just under the table.” He points to a bundle of dries herbs, tied together by the table leg.  
  
_It's the Lady's Mantle._  
  
"Barnaby, you're a genius!"  
  
"Ha, yeah, I get called that a lot."  
  
"Er... you get called a _genius_ a lot?"  
  
"No, _Barnaby_ ," he laughs as you groan and shake your head. Grabbing only a few sprigs from the bundle, you return to your spot next to him and kiss his shoulder lightly. "Thank you, I've been so frantic, I would have overlooked that all night."  
  
"Anything for you," he sighs, bringing on yet another uncomfortable silence.  
  
This tension you feel when the two of you are alone together wasn't entirely unfamiliar, but tonight has easily proved more intense than it had ever been this year. You both got along fairly well in public after the quiet breakup, having lots to talk about and at times even enjoying each others company around your mutual friends. But these rare moments of privacy were never anything less than awkward.  
  
When it becomes too much for you to handle you stand up back up and whisper sadly, "We probably should both leave. I'm sure the Prefects will be patrolling the grounds soon. And I don't want you to get in trouble too, I know you're trying out for Beater on the Quidditch team. This is my burden. You have so much ahead of you, I don't want to ruin any of that for you. Thank you for being here for me tonight, I just wish---"  
  
"Rosier, I don't care about getting in trouble," he interrupts. "I don't have anything to lose from this. I spent all summer hoping to see you again, but... I feel like I've been left out from all the good stuff this year. Am I really that worthless to you?"  
  
"No! Barnaby, it's not like that at all---"  
  
He raises his voice slightly out of pain, "Rosier, you said we were _partners_! If that's true then why don't you want me around anymore?" He stands up too quickly and carelessly bumps into the nearby table containing the various liquids, causing them to sway.  
  
" _Barnaby!_ "  
  
You rush over, attempting to keep anything from falling onto the floor, but everything happens so suddenly and a large jar full of a iridescent pearly liquid falls from its holder, the top coming off to release a gas as it hits the counter, simultaneously splashing you with the juice all over the front of your school skirt.  
  
“Barnaby! That's… the essence of... oh…” A sudden wave of dizziness had hits you, making you stagger back and reach back for the sturdy wooden class table to lean against. You place your hand to your head gently as you can feel it begin to warm rapidly.  
  
You looked to your fellow Slytherin and noticed that he is breathing heavily as his face flushing a deep crimson color. He makes a gasping sound as he turns away from you quickly, as if to hide---  
  
Then it hits you.  
  
Your entire body suddenly becomes ridiculously hot, as if you’ve just walked into a room full or Fire Crabs. Even worse, you could feel this awful, agonizing desire between your legs. You knees are now weak and shaking, making you hold onto the side of the table for support.  
  
He stammers, "Uh, Rosier... this... this isn't going to last forever, right?"

Without even looking, you can only imagine exactly what he's talking about as he stands frigid, facing his body away from you. Embarassingly, you can feel yourself getting uncontrollably aroused as well.  
  
"No, Barnaby. I think... I think it'll pass. It's only an essence of the flos amoris and it's not even the full potion. We just need to be strong for a few moments, right?" you assume as you look over your shoulder at him. You watch his head slowly turn towards you and your eyes lock and a flood of emotion rushes through you. You inhale sharply, catching a strange scent of... river water, or wet earth. Not that of the greenhouse though, more like the distinct scent of the stream flowing close to your parent's house. There's a musk as well, almost as if Barnaby was standing right next to you.  
  
You close your eyes only briefly before you find yourself in his arms. You have no idea if it was you or him that first embraced the other, or even if you both approached each other at once. But none of that mattered now as you find each other's warm lips.  
  
Barnaby holds your head gently as he presses you down onto the classroom table with his body. You placed a hand on the side of his face, all too eager to slip your tongue inside his mouth. As your tongues meet you feel him slide a smooth, warm palm under your shirt, already wanting to lift it. You raise yours arms, allowing him to remove your top with ease as he breaks the kiss.  
  
"Wait... Rosier. I don't know what I'm doing---"  
  
“Barnaby…” you whispered as he brings his lips to your neck, biting down and sucking on your skin. He groans as he retracts his hands from you and pulls himself away once again.  
  
"I'm sorry. I can't do this, Ros'. I... I like you. I really, really like you. I didn't want it to be like this."  
  
You pull yourself back up on the table as you fight your deepest urges to pull him on you once more, only to whimper instead. His eyes are filled with conflict as he slowly corrects his breathing. He looks away, ashamed.  
  
"I heard you named your Bowtruckle after me," he speaks slowly, trying to change the subject as he desperately tries to dismiss what just transpired.  
  
The embarrassment of the fact brings you down to earth, "Um... yeah, Barnaby Jr. It was just the first name I thought of. It really meant nothing..."  
  
"Nothing at all?"  
  
"No. It wasn't anything," you lie as your lungs nearly burst to scream to expose the truth. You turn your head as your guilt eats at you. You try to focus outside the windows, rather than at Barnaby's obviously pained face.  
  
_Why can't I tell him...?_  
  
"It's fine," you hear him speak softly. "I mean, heh, that damned flower. Um, I'm gonna get out of here. No hard feelings, right?"  
  
You nod, tears forming as you hear him walk away from you. You turn from the window to catch him exiting the room and your eyes meet for the last time. He smiles sadly as he turns away to close the door behind him.  
  
You fall to your knees as you sob, clutching at the handmade necklace hidden under your vest that he had made you the previous year.  
  
_I love you, Big B._  
  
"I'm so sorry."


End file.
